What a crock.  I know friggin everyone loves this song.  Hell, I remember it being played to death at the end of my senior year.  But out of all the mistakes Green Day has made over the years, I believe this one to be the most heinous.  Ok, that may be an exaggeration.  I don't really know where I'm going with this.  I don't plan on anyone reading it.  That's not what this is about anyway.  This is for me.  Yeah, I'm selfish enough to etch that into a piece of internet space.  Aren't I a gem?

My point, if I in fact have one, is that how do they know?  How do they know that it's right?  Maybe it's not...at all.  Maybe saying it's right just makes it easier to cope with.

Growing up sucks and I'm about over it.

We're all being pushed forward and sometimes I feel like the only one asking where.  If life isn't supposed to really "start" until after you graduate from high school, then what was I wasting my time on those first 18 years?  How dare you think you can tell me anything about my life.  How the hell do you know more about something I am so COMPLETELY left in the dark on?  You don't.  Don't be so damn arrogant.  Prick.  And yeah, maybe I am naive, but I've lost an awful lot of innocence on this journey so you explain to me how that adds up.

I'm not even sure it's forward.  Maybe that's just one more euphamism to get us through the day.  Perhaps it's not forward or backward, or any one direction at all.  Maybe it's just further.  Always somehow further.  And I'm still the one asking where.

Right.  Forward.  I don't mean to be so entirely cynical.  I know we need you.  I'll admit, I need you too.

I'm proud of my brother.  He's one of the most beautiful human beings I know.  That's what's so special about him too; he's a real human being.  Not just some human, person, or being.  If you've met a real Human Being, you know what I'm talking about.  Sometimes I really think the best part about me is my relation to him.

Ok.  So maybe that song isn't as bad as I first said, because deep down and with the upmost honesty, I do hope you had the time of your life.  But I also hope it doesn't stop there.

 So yesterday was my birthday.  I have some pretty amazing friends.  No denying that.  Getting lost, three terrific used books with plenty of character, cheese cake, Conan, and a dessert shot.  What else could a girl ask for?

In other news: I made a weird cylinder-type creation with a ridiculously small spout!  Man, I suck at ceramics hardcore.  But a spout is a spout.  Can't take that away from me.  I won't let you.

Yeah....bout time I guess.  My birthday party is tomorrow.  I'm excited, even though I'm going to be 22 on Tuesday.  Man, I'm old.  I love my family and friends.  

I don't want to hurt his feelings.  I wish I could let him know how much he means to me without leading him on.